I feel like I failed at the blog game last month. I had so many post and photo ideas for September – and I’ll be honest – I fell short on doing most of them. I suppose I didn’t realize what an adjustment it would be starting a new job. Confession time: I don’t do well with change. I want change…I long for change…I daydream about change…but when it comes down to it, change scares me and makes me uncomfortable. I worked the same full-time job for eight years (approximately six years too many), so although a change was absolutely necessary, it also threw me off these last couple of weeks. I was used to the same short commute every day, seeing the same people (many of whom had become close friends), and I could do my job with my eyes closed. However, there was no challenge in my day to day and I was not working toward a promotion or growing in my career. I was comfortable. Too comfortable.
The great thing about getting older is that you begin to build this memory bank that you can reference when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. After my first week at my new job, feeling totally out of sorts, I remembered a class I had taken at FIT my junior year of college. It was so long ago (yes I am old) that I don’t even remember the class or the instructor’s name. However, I can still picture the teacher…and the very fashionable students…and the huge work load…all of which were very intimidating. My first instinct was to run…as in go immediately to my guidance counselor and get my schedule changed. However, I ended up staying in the class. I’m not sure why…perhaps I couldn’t get out of the class or perhaps my mom (as she often did) talked some sense into me and persuaded me to give it a shot. Regardless, I stuck with the class and it ended up being one of my very favorites. Yes, the instructor was intimidating, but that was because she had so much experience and insight into the fashion industry – and I was able to absorb all of it. Yes, some of the students grew up in NYC and wore designer duds…and there I was, a girl from a small town in PA thinking Abercrombie & Fitch was a pretty big deal. But you know what? I put myself out there and ended up becoming friends with many of the girls in my class. And the work load? It was a lot, but I ended up with some great projects that I was able to use for my portfolio at graduation.
"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."
What’s my point in all of this rambling? Change is hard for all of us. Even positive change. Even change for which we have hoped and prayed. It’s not easy to make new friends or learn a new job or move to a new city. But I am guessing if you also reference that memory bank of lessons you have stored up – the times when you have grown were probably the times when you were challenged and slightly uncomfortable. So be grateful for those struggles, those doubts, and uncertainties. And as for the blog – I love talking to all of you – I really do. And when I started the blog, I did it with the mindset that it would be a creative and relaxing outlet. So I am trying not to beat myself up too much for not being able to post as much as I would like. This life is all about balance. Work versus play. Creating your own destiny versus leaving it in God's hands. Pushing yourself versus forgiving yourself. October is a new month and I know there are big things on the horizon for us all!